Marriage is definitely one of the most important decisions in a person’s life. Whether the marriage is arranged by your family or arranged by you, it is going to have an impact on every area of your life. It is in our hands to ensure that the impact is positive. How do you ensure this? Read on to find out how.
I find both men and women asking these typical questions to their prospective spouses even before meeting the person (in case of family-arranged marriages) or trying to find out the answers to these questions before entering into a committed relationship (in case of self-arranged marriages):
- What’s your age?
- What’s your educational qualification?
- Where do you work and how much is your take-home salary?
- Would you be willing to relocate?
- What’s your family background? etc.
There’s nothing wrong in wanting to know the answers to these questions. After all, you need to live with the person for the rest of your life (at least you hope to). So, it’s important to check if the person meets your requirements of an ideal life partner. Of course, you could be looking for answers to more important questions like “What are the values this person has?”, “What are his/her life ambitions?”, “What are the ideas he/she strongly believes in?”, “What makes him/her happy?”, etc. However, I believe that for marriages to work, you need to to be asking yourself a set of critical questions before asking or seeking answers for any of the above questions from your prospective spouse.
Ask yourself the following questions before getting into a committed relationship or before thinking of finding a life partner:
Am I ready for marriage?
Don’t get married just because your cousin or friend got married. The society may prescribe the ideal age to get married, but you need to ask yourself if you are ready for it. Marriage is a convenient arrangement made by the society to satisfy human needs – emotional, physical, social and economical. Therefore, don’t force yourself into marriage if you don’t feel the need. If you are worried about losing your freedom once you get married, then you are better off staying single.
Can I accommodate another person in my life?
Right from sharing the restroom to sharing your bank balance, marriage is all about sharing everything. If you are not mentally prepared, you’ll find it very annoying when your partner eats up your favourite ice-cream from the fridge. There is a lot of joy in sharing, but that is only when you are whole-heartedly willing to accept another person as yours.
Will I stay 100% committed in this relationship?
This is a huge promise that you are making to yourself. It means that after you get married even if a person like Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt proposes to you, you are going to say no and stay committed to your spouse. If you marry because you couldn’t find anyone better, the commitment will break the moment you find a better person. So ask yourself if you are willing to put your entire efforts to make your marriage successful. If not, do not spoil another person’s life.
Do I have the ability to support my life partner?
Marriage is a balancing act. Your life partner will need your support in different forms. When he/she goes broke, you need to support him/her financially. When he/she goes through a rough patch, you should lend your emotional support. Are you matured enough to handle all this? If you have too many problems yourself, first sort them out before including another person to your life. Don’t get married expecting your life partner to bring solutions to all your problems.
Think about marriage only if the answer to all the above questions is a strong YES! Even if the best girl/boy in the world wants to marry you, you should marry only if you are ready for marriage. Else, the marriage will not work. Therefore, irrespective of who your life partner is going to be, look within you and find out if you want to get into this institution of marriage. It is a beautiful journey if you are ready, but can turn ugly if you are not.
What would you ask?
If you are yet to get married, what would be the #1 question that you would ask yourself before taking the big decision? Leave your answers in the comments below!